I'm Still Alive, Still Talking Shit

Sorry about the lack of updates. No I didn't die, though the question's begging to be asked that if I did die how would you all know? The answer being, well if I got off my ass and posted more regularly you'd know something happened to me because the posts would stop coming. This is why I need to get someone reliable, pithy, funny, interesting and who can be the Lamar Odom to my Kobe on this blog and come in from time to time and pick me up. I'm not even looking for a sidekick, just a third option would do.

Anyways basketball has all but consumed me all month with the Boston Celtics giving me heart attack after heart attack. I won't even go into the details but they better find a way to get it done today. I'm fairly certain that they will but if they don't a shitstorm awaits me and them in our own individual rights of course. They'll get it from the media and I'll have to hear about it from the relentless jerks I drape my life with. Which I can't be mad at because I'd serve in much the same capacity if they went all out over something or someone and were proven wrong. It's part of the game.

Oh well, regardless come Monday, I'll be back to posting regularly because by then the Celtics will either be done for the summer or they'll be facing the Cleveland Cavaliers which actually means they'll be done for the summer too so I can shift my attention to other things finally. Though it's a lot easier of a pill to swallow going out as one of the final four teams standing in late May then it is going out to Ron Jeremy's panicky little brother. Plus I'm just generally tired of the way people who know nothing fawn over Kevin Garnett and give no credit to Pierce & Co. as a very able group with or without The Big Ticket. If you're missing Kevin Garnett, Leon Powe and James Posey this year that you had last year when you won it all and still find yourself in the conference finals then it delegitimizes a ton of crazy talk of undervaluing Paul Pierce and the team that the media has been guilty of for a while now. Just a thought to consider.

Either way you'll see me again Monday and maybe even sooner (if everything turns out aces tonight) so don't jump ship on the site yet. Although oddly enough I have been experiencing huge hits this month despite my lack of posting. Maybe more is less? Maybe I'm T-Mac and my website is the Houston Rockets. His Aura Is Orange might be better off without me after all. *Sigh*....

[Damn he's annoying...]

You Don't Really Believe It, You're Just Saying It To Say It

This team is done for the playoffs!

They can't beat LBJ in the ECF!

They can't beat Orlando!

They probably won't even beat seventh seeded Chicago!

Pardon me for laughing at that. I mean they said this last year. They said last year was the Lakers' year and how dare you even walk onto the same court with Kobe Bryant and Kobulous Ko-Stars? Yeah you'll have to pardon me for not caring what these guys say. They always overreach. These are the same guys who double down on the Sooners when they play Boise St. Same dudes who tell you every year that USC might be the greatest football team there ever was.

Wherever there exists an opportunity for these kinds of people to say things like this they swoop in like the vultures they are and assert there opinion into the mix and if you disagree with these cats you're not to be taken serious. The game of it all is that they get you to agree with them if you're to be taken seriously at all and if you do happen to disagree and have the audacity to speak your mind, then you're crazy and that alone is enough of a disqualifier in stating your opinion on the matter. Only if you go along with them and agree just to appease their ego and your shared predictions turn out to be wrong, don't expect for this guy to admit he and popular thinking was wrong because he won't be. He'll say that nobody else could have saw that coming and if they tell you otherwise they're lying. You put everything on the line when you make a prediction counter to popular opinion and when you're right you're just lucky. He puts everything on the line in saying how it's a slam dunk result and you're an idiot for believing otherwise and when he is wrong, he's not really wrong as it was a fluke and flukes happen and his credibility can't possibly take a hit on the matter because nobody in the entire universe could have seen it turning out the way it did.

When you get it right, you get faint praise and revisionism. When he gets it right he makes sure you know how stupid you were for not riding along with him and the world stinks with his farts for a month and you've got to smell them and say the place smells like roses.

Anyway's despite everybody wringing their hands in the air and getting out of their cars doing Chinese fire-drills and yelling at the height of their voices about how all is over and all that's left is dirt and wreaths and how the Celtics can possibly win in any fashion in the playoffs when they still amassed a 27-9 record without KG for the past two seasons...

MY PREDICTION: Celtics 4-2 Over The Chicago Bulls

then...

Celtics 4-3 Over The Orlando Magic

then...

Cavs 4-2 Over The Boston Celtics in the ECF

.....as always if I'm wrong, you're welcome to remind me that I was, but if I'm right, expect to hear about that too....

Celtics Officially Sign Stephon Marbury (God Help Us)

Celtics president Danny Ainge confirmed that guard Stephon Marbury has signed a contract.

The two-time All-Star is now undergoing a physical and is expected to attend a closed practice at TD Banknorth Garden at 5 p.m. before tonight's game against Indiana.

It remains uncertain if Marbury will be in uniform tonight, but given that the Celtics have just 11 players in uniform, it's possible that they may need him to suit up in case of an emergency situation. He will wear the jersey #8.

This is awful awful news. I'm predicting now that within a week Stephon Marbury will turn into David Ruffin. Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett will probably walk into his hotel room one day on the road and this scene will ensue:

God help us. :(

KG making Glen "Big Baby" Davis Cry In Boston's Win Friday Night

One of the lower moments for both of them.

Boston Celtics @ The White House

Even though I'll have forgotten about this ten minutes from after this is posted I'm not happy to see this. Paul Pierce is my dude but he look a little too damn happy to be there.

Apparently KG Doesn't Need Sleep

From Bill Simmons:

He gets too worked up for big games to the point that it's almost to his detriment. For instance, it was revealed after the Detroit series that Garnett hadn't slept for four days, a period that started after Game 4 and stretched past Game 6. If that was true, you can only imagine how he's handling the Finals. Like O.J. with Nicole, it's possible that he cares a little too much. And for someone who's supposed to be one of the best 25 or 30 players ever, it's almost incomprehensible that he can't make the Lakers pay for single-covering him with the likes of Gasol. Not to sound like Joe Theismann, but here's a guy with a can't-miss 20-footer, superb footwork on the low post, great passing skills and legitimate athletic advantages over every Laker who will defend him in this series. Is there any reason Garnett shouldn't be averaging 30 a night? I can't think of one ... except for the "Maybe he hasn't slept in a week" thing.

If you fuck this series up Kevin because you refuse to sleep, I'm going to kick your ass.