Top Ten: Most Underrated & Overrated Beauties In The Entertainment World Part II (The Ugly Side Of Tuesday)

And for the purposes of balance and bonus coverage I give you the starting line-up of the 'all-overrated team'. The JJ Redicks. The Darko Milicic's if you will. The Vince Carters to which much was expected where much so much wasn't given. The women for whom if they were athletes they'd be the worthless scrubs who dumb teams spent untold numbers of dollars for undeserving talent. The ones getting hood roles in flicks and taking attention from the far more deserving damsels that I referenced in the first portion of this post.

The Overrated
*No Pictures as you all know the reason why. Bad enough their images are seared into my memory and I know what they look like off the top of my head. Just Ughhhh.....*

(Tie 10.) Maggie Gyllenhaal - Damn near the only thing I found less than stellar about an otherwise heavy favorite for 2008 Movie Of The Year in The Dark Knight. I already asked this already but somebody needs to clue their boy in on how they went from Katie Holmes in one movie to her in this one. Huge drop off. Did they think nobody would notice that. That's not even in the same ballpark. Not in the same league. I'm not even sure it's the same gotdamn sport. Word to Jules in Pulp Fiction. Old pig face woman. How she's a leading lady is reason enough to go to war with somebody over in the middle east. I mean hell, we've certainly gone to war for less. Anyway she's objectionable and the fact that she anchors anything other than the nightshift of somebody's kitchen or some other inconspicuous job where she doesn't actually show her face shows how far Hollywood's fallen since I was a kid. Turrible Turrible Turrible. Miss Piggy's swagger has been jacked.

Tie 10.) Cate Blanchett - She's one of those world phenomenons that I don't give a shit about or care to join the world in -- kind of like soccer. Although if I had to choose between her or soccer, I'd choose Soccer because it's at least a sport and Blanchett looks like the inside on an ass. No thank you.

Tie 10.) Lindsay Lohan - This one is almost stupefying. She's pale. She's red-headed (and science studies have proven most red-heads, not named Kate Winslet, are disgusting). She's got ugly freckles all over her body. She's pale. She's got baby teeth. She's trashy. She's just not very desirable at all. Really, that one gay DJ she's dating can have her. Men got off easy. That's an L we can take for the greater good.

9.) Michelle Williams - Never saw what people saw in her. She's not attractive at all. Never got a huge bump in anything outside of Dawson's Creek but still. I mean Heath Ledger settled fairly low with her in my opinion. Oh well. At least he don't gotta look at her ass no more.

8.) Maria Sharapova - The single most overhyped, overblown woman in sports. Really nauseatingly overrated. The thought of hearing PTI's host slurp her when her name is on the docket at 5:30 is enough to make me actually turn the channel. Anybody that knows anything at all about me knows how much I like that show but I'd rather watch Women's Golf than see anything having to do with her. She's not as hot as Kournikova, Serena, or even Martina Hingis. Get her ugly ass out of the discussion of sports finest athletes. I can't believe I wasted time discussing this plane-jane, square shouldered, grasshopper legged, praying mantis looking chick. Disgusting.

7.) Gweneth Paltrow - She looks like Cauliflower. Like steamy Cauliflower. There's absolutely nothing she could do for me in this world. She's ugly and that's putting it mildly. Stop lying to this woman and giving her work.

6.) Kirsten Dunst - This is the biggest knock I have against the Spiderman series. She's in it. She's ugly. She's got those fans in the top of her gums. She's got ugly dimples. UGLY DIMPLES FOR CHRIST SAKE! You got to be an ugly ass to make dimples ugly, but alas she defies odds and perseveres. I first saw her in Interview With The Vampire and when Brad Pitt turned her into a vampire I felt compelled to open my window drapes and let the sun in, lol. If only it were that simple to rid the world of her. 14 years later and the bitch is still here. Somebody tell her to go away.

5.) Sarah Jessica Parker - She looks like witch that's trying to get her groove back. Matthew Broderick lost but not as much as America since she's the poster child of a show that is the cornerstone of pop culture in "Sex & The City". The greatest of all offenses is the fact that she's the 3rd most desirable of the 4 main women on the show, not that I ever watched that dogshit but I haven't been so oblivious that I haven't seen a promo for the show. I'm all about that brunette chick on the show. No hate for her. Sarah on the other had can go to Afghanistan and scare Bin Laden out of a cave with her ugly ass. She need join Islam and get fitted for one of those outfits with the cloth that covers the face. Period.

4.) Tara Reid - She's the face of the MTV crowd for me. They're all about exalting some undeserving cookie-cutter average looking blond broad and holding onto this particular mold of 'hot' and it's annoying and it's the reason myself and every other member of my demographic stop watching their shithole of a network. It's not even a personal crusade so much aimed toward Tara as much as its a rejection of the notion that the dime a dozen factory to which she was manufactured at should be deemed obsolete and that if that's what passes itself off as superior beauty than that's not a world I want to be in. So I guess it'd be fair to say I'm more against the idea of her than I am her but I still don't fuck with Tara Reid. Carson Daly can have her.

3.) Julia Roberts - Baboon lips. No body. Plain-Jane. Thank you for coming, drive home safe.

2.) Gabrielle Union - She looks like a baboon in make-up. Plus she plays the exact same role in every movie they put her in -- A Bitch. I can't resolve in my mind whether that's just her personality or a typecast, either way I don't care to learn the truth either way. So i'll probably just keep not paying attention to her and changing the channel and not renting her movies at the video store until the movie execs get the clue. Cast better or stay with mad full shelves at Blockbuster of her movies and cold, assless seats at the theaters for her movies. Your money, not mine.

1.) Nicole Kidman - She looks like one of those creepy old school dolls at your grandmas's crib on the wall and I don't mean that as a compliment. She's pale. Wierd looking and has no body. I desire her as much as I do the creepy porcelain dolls at my grandmother's house. She keeps getting mentioned as this consensus beautiful woman and all I wanna know is when they took this vote and why wasn't I there to hate on this stupid mindset that lead people to believe this for so long. Tom moved on up with Katie. He certainly wised up even if it was at the excuse of my childish boyhood infatuations with her. Oh well, if Tom knows what's up and was able to be rehabilitated then there's hope for everyone else everywhere. Stop following this ugly woman and watching her movies.

(Dis)Honorable Mentions
Fergie
Michelle Williams (Destiny's Child)

Top Ten: Most Underrated & Overrated Beauties In The Entertainment World

Today's list is very simple and to the point. On this day, we cut through the malarkey and stop the bullshit that permeates pop culture and manifests itself as accepted knowledge. Underrated women of the entertainment world get their come up. Overrated women getting over are getting called out. So this is going to be a two part event it's going to be so big. This post is a double album. I'm going to drop the first disc right now and the second disc around dinner time so don't forget to check back later for the B-Side.

Without any further stalling let's get into it. As described, the first list is a collection of women underrated and under appreciated in pup culture. I didn't make the list in order of most beautiful but rather took in consideration beauty, lack of attention and notoriety and size of the egregiousness of the slight that these women get in the entertainment business for whatever reason. Anyway it was a complicated formula but one which took me a while to rank the ladies so if nothing else respect my process and the fact that there was method to my madness.

The Underrated Beauties

10.) Roselyn Sanchez - I only put her this low on the list because of the women on this list she's had some of the greatest mainstream success and acceptance but she still deserves more spotlight and media focus based on her stunningly gorgeous looks. Hispanic women are grossly underrepresented in film and television and it would go a long way towards ratifying that problem and making me happy by putting her in more projects. Kill two birds with one stone. Probably the dopest Latina on the scene and doesn't get near the facetime Eva Longoria or Eva Mendez gets. This is a crime against humanity if I ever saw one.


9.) Persia White - I'll give you this much, Persia in the eyes of many is nuttier than squirrel shit, but that's no excuse for her not to be known beyond the faint whispers of some in black circles and environmental/animal advocacy sectors. I think she's of the prettier faces in Hollywood and I'm tired of seeing lesser quality women pass her over and gain opportunity and stature before Persia gets her chance. Cut and dry. Give this woman more face time if for nothing else, then for the betterment of the male viewing public.


8.) Haylie Duff - Look, I'm high up on Haylie because I have a soft spot for brunettes with pretty smiles so this is right up my alley. Truth be told her nose is a little long but I don't give a damn because there's something about her that just won't quit to me. I know people think Hillary Duff is the better looking sister but I beg my blind brothers and sisters to reconsider. Check the pictures I'm dropping as living testament to your misgivings and erroneous ways. I beg you be baptized in the waters of Haylie and have your sin washed away. God bless her parents for making her and 'Gotdamn America', word to Jeremiah Wright, for not holding her down more often. I'mma pray for you nig'ras.


7.) Rashida Jones - Very very cute, girl next door type chick. Of the mold of so many light skin 'around the way' type girl we all grew up with. Seems lovely enough although you never see or hear much about her. There's n0 justice in Hollywood. How she's not on everybody's list is beyond my understanding.



6.) Famke Janssen - Jean Gray is the only thing I know her from and y'all know that's a shame. I know Hollywood can do better than that. Anyway, she was the finest chick in the X-Men movies, sorry but she was even finer than Halle Berry in those movies, it's just an empirical fact. I wouldn't even know the woman's name had it not been for google, wikipedia and a lucky break from God. That shouldn't be. Any woman that went out like Eminem on Jay-Z's Renegade and murdered Halle on her own shit and I still can't remember her government name is just a global injustice that needs correcting. Famke is fine.


5.) Elise Neal - This woman is fine and at the age of 42 you might call her something of rarity in the . If you don't think she's bad then, I believe the great philosopher, I think his name was Riley Freeman put it, 'Nigga, you gay.' The body is crazy. Face is pretty. She's humble. She's grounded and you telling me you have to make the leading black lady for every movie Nia Long or Gabrielle Union. We only get 3 every two year. (For the record the Sanaa Lathan features get NO complaints from me, I ain't crazy, lol) More Elise, less bullshit please.

4.) Jennifer Connolly - Everything concerning Jennifer is on point. Of all the Jennifers in the business, pound for pound, she's the dopest. I know I'm spitting against the wind here and going against popular belief here but anyone you put up in my mind ain't comparing with J.Co. Anyone Lopez. Garner. Love-Hewitt. Ball game. She's like the Marvin Harrison of Hollywood Actresses. She just quietly goes about her business, flies under the radar and stays on point. I see you Jenny even if others got glaucoma.


3.) Katie Holmes - I always get those alien looks from people when I bring up Katie Holmes as one of the lifelong crushes of my childhood but fuck y'all. Katie is masterful. Tom knew what was up. Even if he did turn Katie into a weird recluse on some shit similar to how Erykah Badu be doing niggas I'm still going at Katie the minute she break up with Tom. I fucked with Dawson's Creek, don't tell nobody or I'll fucking kill you, because Katie was a on that show and moreover she was a believable main actress actually work captivating the audience's attention and having the other main characters beefing over. I loved Batman Begins because she was worth Batman simping in it the whole time for. The Dark Knight was a masterpiece but they dropped the ball not resigning Katie. No wonder they killed the character off in this one. Anyway, Katie's from Ohio, and to Ohio she shall return when her marriage dissipates and I'm rebounding like Dwight Howard if she come anywhere near Cincinnati. Until then stop sleeping on Katie.


2.) Kate Winslet - Classic beauty. Gorgeous proportions. Natural look. Some out there need to stop sleeping. Look -- I went 24 years without seeing Titanic and as far as I was concerned would have been perfectly content going another 24 without seeing it or calling it a life and doubling up another 24 and going 48 years without seeing the damn overhyped movie but last week I watched it and set my Television to remind me of it coming on just because I realized she was in it. Where have I been right? Anyway I saw another film she was in, Little Children, go see that by the way, and she's cemented her place with me. Men need to stop sleeping and start giving just due where it's deserved. She's nice with hers.


1.) Erica Christensen - Even though I can't readily name anything else she's been in other than Swimfan, I've been patiently awaiting for more anything from Erica. I mean anything. At this point, I'd sit at my computer for 2 hours straight and watch a straight to youtube video movie taped from some grainy cellphone footage if she's in it. I'm desperate. She's absolutely gorgeous. She appeals to all my negro sensibilities. LOL. She reminds me of a Julia Styles only way hotter. You can't find shit with her in it though. It'd be easier to find a black person at the GOP convention. It'd be easier to sneak up on Bigfoot mid-stride and take his picture than catch Erica in something. What has this woman done to deserve the banishment Hollywood's put on her? Too attractive? You'd rather have some ugly Cate Blanchett type hit bitch headline a movie than her? This is a not a world of taste apparently. Not at all.

Dopest chick you've never heard of.


Honorable's Mentions
April Scott
Sarah Silvermann
Chante Moore
Soledad O'Brien
Leeann Tweeden

The Overrateds coming up later....