Real World Cancun: She Didn't Have To Do The Dude Like That

Firstly, let me set this clip up for those who don't watch Real World or at least haven't been following this season. The black girl on the phone (Jonna) is on the show this season and she's been in a relationship with her longtime boyfriend (Matt) guy on the phone taking one of the worst L's in television history) for years and coming into the show they were head over heels in love, deeply rooted and connected with each other and the whole nine. They made a pact that over the time that Joanna would be in Cancun during the filming of The Real World, that neither she or him would cheat and throw away what they had been building long before the show came up. That was the plan. Was being the key word of course. Well about two months into the show, approximately a month from the show wrapping up, she decides to surprise her boyfriend Matt with some news that he didn't know and tell him where things were as far as she was concerned. So again, those of you who haven't been watching the show, now that you have the background on what's going on here go ahead and press play on the clip above and bear witness to one of the, if not the, worst public L's of 2009 caught on tape. It's not pretty.

*Waits for you to watch the clip*

Okay now that you've seen the clip let me just say this: I've see that clip now more times than I probably care to admit and each time it's hard to watch. I mean every time I watch it it feels like I'm watching it for the first time all over again. Her boyfriend/ex-boyfriend didn't deserve all that. Therein lies the difference between guys and girls though.

Follow me: A guy goes to the store to buy a particular shirt he's seen on sale after having learned about it either on television or print. One the way to the store he's been listening to the radio. As he's pulling up in the store's parking lot, it's just then he hears an advertisement of another store having a huge sale on the same shirt that he's about to buy at the store he's at only this place has it for $32 instead of the $35 that the store he's at is selling it. The guy knows that it's probably not worth the trouble or the hassle to go over to this other store in search of this shirt to save three dollars. Since it's a waste of time and he'd much rather stick with the place he's more comfortable with because he's already there, he just buys the shirt for $35 from the store he's at. A girl in the same exact scenario save for the shirt being a top she wants, hears about this top somewhere else for a marginally better deal won't blink. She'll start the car back up, get back on the highway and head out to the other store. Not that I'm assigning moral piety in either case, just noting the differences and there are differences. It's the same mentality with relationships too. A girl will see a guy marginally better than the guy she's with, not even necessarily enough to make the effort of being with this new guy and leaving her old guy worth it, and she'll leave the old guy fairly easily. The guy is loyal to a fault or his own detriment but once he makes a decision he lives with it and he usually doesn't let other things around him derail his mindset.

But back to the clip. Bless Matt's heart. I mean she's all but told him in no uncertain terms that she's been romantically involved with all these different guys. Even if she's not been there with any of them physically, she's been there with all of them mentally and still Matt is trying to put the pieces of his relationship back together and salvage whatever is salvageable at that point and reconcile and even as he's decent enough to do that she goes in for the kill and sticks the dagger as far as it will go into the guy and tells him to basically let it go and to stop playing a victim. Damn.

Look I've had my peaks and valleys in relationship but I've never been through what Matt went through. And to have that happen on TV too? I'm not a strong enough guy. I would have done something to somebody.

Just terrible.

And LeBron Continues To Catch Shrapnel Over "Confiscated DunkTapeGate"

 

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This new report from Kobe's Summer Camp, LOL

From Kobe’s basketball Academy tonight, Kobe accepted the challenge of a one-on-one game with a trash-talking-happy camper. Earlier in the day, when we were filming the courts with Kobe roaming them watching his campers, the camper told Kobe he’d “need lotion for his feet when he was done.” Kobe, beaming at his young camper, responded with, “I’ve got a long list of people like you.” The trash talking continued on in a fun, competitive way; both smiling at each other.

When it was almost time for the one on one game, Kobe told the kid he could shoot for outs and told him he’d better make it or it’s game over for him.

Kobe backed him down point after point; telling him he wouldn’t take it easy on him as promised earlier in the week when he accepted the camper’s challenge. At the end of it, Kobe won 5-0 and grabbed the mic to ask him what the kid had learned. The courageous camper responded with, “You won’t be able to win at Lebron’s camp!”

Kobe, laughing, responded back with: “I also won’t get dunked on in my own camp.”

LeBron needs to get off the snide and start winning at life again. He's suffered too many losses over the past two months. It all starts with staying home more often (cutting out the canoodling with Jay-Z), hitting the gym harder than ever (also it wouldn't hurt to bring Shaq's fat, unmotivated ass with you), and laying the foundation for being successful next year.

Top Ten Least Necessary African American Mainstays Ever Invented

1.) Gold/Platinum Grills [Unless your dentist is recommending this for a rotting tooth, there is no practical reason you need this at all other than you have money and you're too immature to hold it on your own and your grandmother isn't around to put it in her purse until you're ready to spend it responsibly. I condemn anyone unilaterally who dons this wicked niggadry.]2.) FUBU [Fubu was such a colossally bad idea that second rate clothing stores haven't sold it in years. Only fitting that the corniest rapper of all-time (LL Cool J) endorsed it. I remember a significant other tried to give me a Fat Albert Fubu sweater for Christmas one year, needless to say I dodged that shit like the matrix. Karl Kani > FUBU]3.) The Throwback Jersey[I won't front, they were cool for a very very brief moment in time and just a soon as they blew into puniversal prominence they became lame. When people started wearing the fake jerseys and rocking the off-brand ones and inventing new throwback jerseys to make a buck like the awful "QBs of the Century" throwback jerseys I exited the game and left the fad for younger more hopeless humanoids. At their height rappers had them in their videos and you couldn't find them in stock anywhere you looked at their worst, and I don't fabricate this at all, you could literally go in the gas station put 20 on a pump and buy one behind the counter in the same transaction right in between the fake Hilfiger shirts and Nike skullies. How distasteful.]
4.) Jewelry from the back of "The Source" [If you didn't know this was a bad idea on your own than you probably shouldn't cross the street without the accompaniment of an adult.]
5.) Metallic Denim [This one is one of the worst offenses. One of the worst of the worst. This fad a whole generation of people looking like well-dressed Transformers. Walking around like an aluminum can with legs. Just a bad idea. Truly an all encompassing loss.]6.) S-Curl/Activator [S-Curls are the communion of Ugly Pretty Boys. It's the sacriment for them. It's corny. Its lame. It's a hybrid of corny and lame. It's that deep. If you're not mixed or you don't share a relative with Pochahontas, guess what, chances are your hair isn't going to be of that texture and you need to be proud of what you have naturally and worry about making the wave-length taper work for you because you're not fooling anyone. Please for the sake of the youth, let this one die with the 80's babies.]
7.) Skully w Eye/Mouth Holes [There is absolutely positively nothing positive you can even do with one of these so why do they even make them? Whose the asshole that keeps buying these year after year and keeping the product in circulation? This is the preferred attire of convenience store robbers and wack South rappers for their album covers. Black people should declare a moratorium on this awful head piece. In fact, the only people that should wear masks that cover their faces excluding their eyes and mouth are Mexican wrestlers.]8.) Pager [This is the biggest 'Look At Me' invention in history. So you're telling me men in the 90's used to walk around with devices from people who were looking to get in touch with them and be paged by people who left their numbers and then had to go to a phone and call the number back? Why not just call their house phone and leave a message. It serves the same purpose, it's cheaper and makes you look less like a dick. Plus -added bonus- you know what the person wants from the note instead of having to stare directly at a number and wonder what exactly they want in the first place. Or how about this, why not buy a cell phone and cut out the middle man altogether.

PS. I owned one myself in '95. :( ]
9.) D-Band Headband [Pictures-1000 words. You get the picture.]
LOL @ this. This shit looks like Joe Pesci's scully after MacCauley Culkin set it on fire in Home Alone.
10.) Reebok Classics (Mens) [If you like women and hope to get one in the future you probably shouldn't dress like one. Especially if you don't like ugly sneakers. Just because they're cheap and affordable doesn't mean you should buy them. Black people need ugly clothing like they need $5 Gas.]

And The Blows To Mr. Shakur Continue

2pac's legacy stay losing.


Ugliest shoes ever. I wouldn't cut grass in these.

(Belated) Tuesday's Top Ten Celebrity L's

This week's Top Ten List is one that is the antithesis of the List of a couple weeks back wherein I ran down the Top 10 overachieving celebrities with their women who for reasons unknown to me they ended up with who were way out of their leagues and had no business with. This week is the rundown of people who took L's in their love life and have done so in the worst arena possible, the public spectrum. I'm not doing this to be mean. I'm doing this so that they might learn from their problems and get back on track and push away the plate of drugs they've been overindulging in that has clouded their judgment. The road starts here. Consider this their intervention.

10.) Gary Coleman - The guy went from single to this therefore Gary Lost. Sure Gary Coleman is a washed up little person with a short fuse but he can do better than this. Being single is better than being with this eyesore. That's got to be a loss. Not the biggest loss in the world because he's no prize himself but if you're famous you ought to be with someone no less than a 7. Even if your name is Gary Coleman.

9.) Mac 10-He lost because it's a wonder T-Boz ever was with him in the first place. He was a struggling rapper with little to no shine in the grand scheme of things who nobody checked for and still ended up with someone out of his league like Tionne Watkins. In fact he should have been on the Top 10 Overachievers list he cleaned up so well with her. To make matters worse he beat on her until she finally took their daughter and left his punk ass. The final dagger being that she ended up with a football player that looks like a brown Lurch but ended up being a good dude for her in Takeo Spikes. Mac 10 ended up with nothing. The End. Turned out to be a happy story after all.

8.) Omar Epps - Sanna Lathan > Kim from Total. I don't think anyone in their right mind can deny this one.

7.) Shaq-Shaq lost, not because he was with the eye-popping Shaunie O'Neal, on the contrary. He lost because she embarrassed him during the court proceedings in their separation and how he was a 6 year old child in their joint financial expenditures. This one pains me to say because I've always been on his side and yet here I've had to announce that the Big Aristotle lost and in my previous list that Kobe won. What is the world coming to where I side with 24 over The Diesel? I almost can't bring myself to do it, but I have to call it fair for my readers and it is what it is.

5&6) Nick Cannon & Mariah Carey-She's Mariah Carey and He's Nick Cannon. This is a double loss. This is akin to two heavyweight boxers punching each other at the same time and simultaneously knocking each other out cold. On the surface yes he overachieved because she's anybody but if you take a closer look as corny as Nick Cannon is, and he is most certainly corny, he had Kim Kardashian (a Pre Ray J, unpissed on and ran through commodity), Christina Milian, & Supermodel Selita Banks. A 38 year old Mariah Carey ain't in that class to date let alone wife. Plus this is the best she's going to look. She's not going to get any better. Nick hustled backwards.
Mariah lost because well, she's with this corny nigruh. She's got more money than him, more celebrity than him and can probably still do better than her if she wanted to but Stella got her groove back with the star of Drumline. Losses all around here.

In a year they're gonna have an baby and name the kid something that starts with L.

4.) Ben Affleck-By no means do I think Jennifer Gardner is a bad looking girl. She's actually pretty damn cute. Not a bad catch for an average dude, myself included. Common sense tells me this much. But this is not me we're talking about. This is Ben Affleck. This dude had Jennifer Lopez on his team for a long long time. I mean I'm talking Jennifer Lopez in her prime.

Jennifer Gardner reminds me of that Katt Williams joke in his last HBO special when he was talking about cars, "A Chrystler 300 looks like a Phantom and you feel like you're in a Phantom when you're driving and it's all good and you're feeling yourself when you're riding in it, until you pull up next to an actual Phantom". Gardener is cute but when you compare her to J.Lo, the discussion is over.

3.) Bill Maher-This one hurts even me to type down because Bill has been a vocal leader for leftist causes and has made contributions to the side of decency for years but on the women front you can't wife Karen Steffans and expect to get a pass from me no matter how great your political views are. If you don't recognize her by her government than maybe you will by her nickname, Superhead. She's the Michael Jordan of hoeing. There have been no one whose mastered the art of performing sexual acts for male celebrities than her and Bill Maher paraded her in public as his equal without shame. I don't know what else to call this but a loss. Again, it's one thing to accept her services discreetly behind closed doors and and quietly associate with her oblivious to the public but to make kissy face with her in front of flashing cameras is a cardinal sin. The only reason I'm not completely letting Bill have it is because he's no longer with her. He had a ghost living in his house and exorcised the demon and for good measure sprayed the place with air freshener. I applaud that Bill but the fact that you even went there in the first place stains your character.

2.) Reggie Bush-He's with Kim Kardashian. That's his actual factual girlfriend and if you believe the reports possibly his fiancee. If she'd been born 400 years ago no telling how high her ceiling could be seeing how everyone was having sex and basking in it and it didn't stain you publicly but as of today she's just bedroom company. I'd have my fun with her, of course. No doubt about it. Contraceptives up to my elbows but kissing in public, showing affection in the streets, buying jewelry in stores with, parading around town like she's wifey, naw. That's a loss. That shit was a loss last week, it'll be a loss next week. Reggie need to stop going on blind dates that Nas set up.If you ever have or had aspirations of being President or holding public office, you couldn't wife Kim anyway.
Plus it's rumored that Ray J peed on her in that tape they released several months back but it just never made it to the final cut. Now I don't know about you, and I'm not a prude, but I'm not laying lips on a chick that gets peed on. Girl of my dreams or otherwise. Only time you might could excuse that shit is if the piss in question was from your child when she changed his diapers. other than that, that's a no-go.Even his mans and them got that look on his face like "Damn, this nigga could at least play it off like he was drunk on New Years Eve but he sober as fuck now and he stay losing. Ugh.". She's Superhead with money.

1.) Ursher-He went from Chilli to Tameka Foster. Let me reiterate this, her went from Chilli from TLC, to some mudduck tranny named Tameka Foster. I don't even like this guy or anything concerning what he's done to a generation of girly men. Sure I respect his talent but I haven't liked anything he's put out since "You Make Me Wanna" and that was only because I was a young dumb and impressionable middle schooler going through a personal situation akin to the song but Usher can do better. Usher could have had any single woman in this world and even half the women who were nailed down and as far as my knowledge might still be able to but he went ahead and rolled with his current main chick. I don't know what she has over his head but it must be deep and embarrassing because if you have a pair of eyes you know Chilli was a 10 and Tameka is well, I don't judge dudes. So it's pretty safe to say Usher was going to be high on this list.

Once again, he left this:That L he took will echo in eternity.