A brush with John Cleese in Bergen, Norway's surprising second city

By MIKE ANSTEAD

Kaleidoscope of colour: Brightly-coloured shop fronts in Bryggen


Opening my hotel room door to see a bare-footed Basil Fawlty marching past in a red checked shirt and white sport shorts, I finally accepted that I was wrong about Bergen. This place really is full of surprises.

I wasn’t going mad. The voice was unmistakable. So was the trimmed moustache and gangly frame. All that was missing was Manuel clattering along behind.

Yes, John Cleese was the showbiz resident just a few doors down, starting his latest world tour in Bergen of all places. Well, I thought, if it’s good enough for him, it’s good enough for me.

I’d arrived in this Norwegian coastal city 24 hours earlier, naively predicting that it would offer little else apart from rain, smoked fish, a shortcut to bankruptcy and more rain.

I was right about the rain. They even bottle it and sell it to tourists. But I was happy to be proved wrong on pretty much everything else.

Bergen – Norway’s second largest city behind Oslo – is just a two-hour flight from London and it’s a little gem if you’re looking for a weekend away, particularly one that offers an alternative to the well-trodden stag-party path.

The first thing you notice is just how clean and efficient the place is. Stepping off the plane into Bergen’s spotless airport close to midnight, I was checking in at the hotel reception just half an hour later. Why can’t it always be like this?


Fishmongers clad in their bright orange wetsuits sell the morning's catch at Bergen's fish market


After a good night’s sleep and hearty breakfast (no sign of Cleese this time) at the Radisson Blu Hotel, it was time to explore what Bergen had to offer. Head to the fish market first, I was told, and from there catch the boat out to the fjords.

Fishing remains a crucial industry here despite being surpassed by the exporting of oil and gas in recent times. The fishmongers – clad in their bright orange wet suits – scamper around selling the morning’s catch.

King crabs – with spiky legs the size of school rulers – and melt-in-the-mouth smoked wild salmon line the stalls. And if you’re looking to try something just a little different, the smoked whale – from the minks caught in the three-month fishing window each year – is another delicious speciality.

The market stands on the entrance to the pier where I board the White Lady with my ticket to the fjords. At 450 kroner (£48) – and like most things in Norway – it’s not cheap, but Bergen really is a perfect spot to explore the veins of water that cushion the coast.

The retreating view of the city, with the kaleidoscope of bright painted houses that dot the city's seven surrounding mountains, is magical but the breathtaking sights lie towards the end of the two-hour journey north up Osterfjorden, beyond the salmon farms and shipbuilding factories.

Looming faces of sheer grey rock eventually come into view and hang high over the boat. Even on this particular wet and windy day, it is a beautiful picture. The only sound is the quiet hum of the engine and the tranquility is welcomed by this observer from London. The Norwegians are a relaxed bunch and it’s easy to see why with these surroundings.

The four-hour round trip was perhaps a little too long – especially once the amusement of the Queen’s English perfected by the boat’s tour guide Ronnie had worn off (try saying 'f-yord' in your poshest accent, and you're not even close) – but this is a great way to enjoy the fjords up close, without committing yourself to an extended cruise.


Catch a boat out to the fjords from Bergen's pretty harbour


Back on dry land and feeling peckish, I take the short walk round to Bryggen, the site of medieval Bergen, and luckily for me on this particular weekend, also the base for the city’s annual food festival.

The wooden stalls sell pretty much everything you could imagine, from rich salamis and reindeer steaks to cloudberry jams and the lovely skillingsbolle (a doughy pastry drowned in sugar and cinnamon). The Norwegians know how to treat their stomachs.

Eating later at one of the city’s leading fish restaurants, Enhjorningen, I am again reminded of the delicious food on their doorstop – this time a superb platter of salmon, catfish and angler fish – but also of the exorbitant prices.


View to a thrill: Mike rides the funicular up Mount Floyen


Yes, the food is great but £30 for a main course is excessive. Little wonder Norway and the rest of Scandinavia struggles to attract anywhere near the numbers that flock for weekend breaks in eastern Europe.

The sky-high prices are sadly unavoidable when eating and drinking – and Bergen has plenty of hip bars to relieve you of your kroner, including one bizarrely advertising a night hosted by Pat Sharp – so the trick is to line up the activities that won’t have the bank manager calling in a panic.

One cracking cheap option is to take the funicular up Mount Floyen. The six-minute journey is excellent value at 70 kroner (£7.50) for a return, particularly when you leap out to savour the views of Bergen from over 1,000ft up. Buildings that dwarfed me just a few minutes ago are now just tiny plots on a stunning landscape.


The lookout point on the top of Mount Fløien offers fantastic views of the city


But this is a place to bring not only your camera, but also your walking boots. Head for the scenic trails that lie beyond the tip of the funicular: a maze of winding paths lined with pines and evergreens. The adventurous are rewarded too, with the mirrored lakes that sit just behind an unassuming slope.


Sucking in the cool Nordic air, I'm envious that a natural playground overlooking the city isn’t on the doorstep in London. Imagine having this just moments away from your home. The people of Bergen really are a lucky bunch.

One last surprise awaited me at the city’s aquarium – just a 15-minute walk across town from where you hop off the funicular.

Now, I'm no expert but one of the last places I'd expect to see a crocodile is Norway. But head into the darkness towards the back of the aquarium and you're greeted by the cold stare of these ancient beasts.

Lost in the daze of staring at their razor sharp teeth and perfect stillness, I suddenly realised it was time to grab my bags and head home.

The visit was all too short but enough to blow away a few short-sighted assumptions. If you want to open your eyes, head to Bergen. And keep them peeled for Basil.


Travel facts

One-way flights from London to Bergen with SAS (www.flysas.co.uk / 0871 226 7760) start from £86. SAS also flies from Aberdeen Airport.

Weekend rates at the Radisson Blu Hotel (www.radissonblu.com / 00800 3333 3333) start from NOK 1,195 (around £129) for a single room and NOK 1,395 (around £150) for a double including tax and breakfast.

For more information on Bergen, contact the tourist board at info@visitBergen.com / +47 55 55 20 00 or visit www.visitBergen.com

source :dailymail