Friday, April 1, 2011
Breaking News:UNC Soristute gets Big Head
From: CxxxCxxxx <xxxxxx@email.unc.edu>
Date: March 30, 2011 4:30:19 PM EDT
To: “The ChiO Mailing List” <xxxx@xxxx.unc.edu>
Subject: [chio] Tomorrow Night’s Mantra: Keep Your Cool & Respect
Dear TEAM CHI OMYGOD,As the rumors have said – I am taking Kendall Marshall, Harrison Barnes, and John Henson with M.H. and E.B for Formal.
I have told the boys that there is a band and a lot of fun so I expect it to be but I do not want to see celebrity shocked drunkies because they are never fun. To honor each of our guests that are attending, please respect your dates, respect yourselves, and respect Chi Omega’s efforts to pull this off tomorrow night.
Please respect the following list of things that are important to me:
- Please DON’T Take a picture of them with ALCOHOL nearby or in the photo – I will be placing my drinks down when I am photographed next to them. We ALL have brilliant FUTURES so try to nip the the Life-Ruining photos in the bud. We are a family, not a tabloid magazine. Just keep in mind that Coach Williams/all Carolina fans worldwide will not be happy if we screw up their reputations and sink Chi O as a sorority.
- Please DON’T Ask them if they are going to the NBA – PLEASE TELL YOUR DATES NOT TO ASK THEM THIS EITHER – Boys are just as much jock sniffers as we are jersey chasers. Just play cool…
- Please don’t leave your dates to ask mine annoying questions, they are human and actually quite young in age – no need to scare them. They will probably take pictures but be kind but I will be posing in all the pictures. I will welcome all high fives.
- PLEASE DO NOT Force drinks on them (they should not be drinking as they are UNDER 21!!!! and FULL OF POTENTIAL!! maybe you are in that category too…passionate and full of potential is way hotter than illegally boozy)
- Don’t stare too hard at them – have fun it’s a party let’s not make them feel too godlike I mean after all they were lucky enough to get asked to this function!
I want these boys to see how awesome Chi O is and thus we will be rising to the top of the cool charts. They are going to “other” formals Saturday and I dont want to hear that Chi O’s were too crazy and the “others” were better. No sir – Chi O will be #1 in their hearts.
Sooo please use your manners, your swagger, and your grace to have an excellent time tomorrow night!
X and a Horseshoe and social media for life!
CC
Jesus Christ. Who would have thought the fattest white chick in the sorority would have let the situation go right to her head. Well im sure she will get brought back down to earth when she is on her 5th player back at the dorms and is unsure how to call it quits. (see prior post)
-Les Anderson
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